Is celebrating Father’s Day, Mother’s day etc necessary ? I say – Yes ! It is extremely important – Here’s why …

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Of late, people have started questioning the necessity of various ‘days’ that have been given special significance by dedicating it to either family members or friends or lovers. The 2nd Sunday of May is celebrated as Mother’s day in India, while the 3rd Sunday of June is celebrated as Father’s day to commemorate the presence of our creators in our life. On a similar note, we have 1st Sunday of August dedicated to our chums and 14th February for our beloved – the latter being the most famous and most awaited by many – the Valentine’s Day. We have a long list of similar days – for your reference I have added the list at the end so that next time you do not forget – You are welcome ! 🙂

My primary grouse is that some people feel celebrating these days is redundant. They justify their stand by saying that they love their parents/friends/siblings/beloved and respect their contribution in their life – a fact known to everybody, so there is no need for a reminder – emotions count. Some ignore the significance by saying that they shower their love 365 days a year – they do not need a day to prove their love.

Dear people, neither am I doubting your love nor asking you to prove it. I am very sure that you have the greatest of  affection for your dear ones and you love them to the moon and back. The main objective behind celebrating these days is : expression of love.

I know you love your parents or friends or beloved, but how many times have you said it to them? If you do say it, I respect you because you understand that love sometimes need expression. For people like me who are shy & reserved and rarely confess their love, these days serve as a fresh breeze for our relationship ,giving us a much needed opportunity to express what we feel for them, letting us keep our shyness aside because we know we are not alone in this. It obliges us to take a break from our fast paced life, sit back, and make beautiful moments with our dear ones – take them out for dinner or shopping, pamper them, make them feel special. With beautiful moments, I do not mean social media. Of course, you can proclaim you love, but do not restrict it only to that platform. It is a time for you to re-discover your relationship with your parents or siblings – strengthen the bond with your friends, explore and experience emotions you have never felt before with your beloved.

Some readers might think – love is all that matters. Why do I need to say it a zillion times?

I agree. Love is what matters at the end. But to bring freshness into your relationship, you need to express it. You don’t have to do it a zillion times, nobody expects that – but once a year would be a good start. Another point to ponder over is that this should not be a mechanical process – do not do it just for the heck of it. If you do not want to say it on that day, say it on some other day. But say it. People underestimate the importance of expression of love, but –

Sometimes loving is just not enough – you need to express .

You need to break your silence and appreciate the presence of the special person in your life.

Remember, how happy you are when you are appreciated at school or work – it makes your day – isn’t it ? Then make somebody else’s day too…

– Amateur

As promised, here is the list of the important days:

Disclaimer: The following days are celebrated in India. Some days might differ based on geographical location. The author do not claim the authenticity of the dates.

Date Day
1st January Global Family Day
14th February Valentine’s Day
2nd Sunday of February World Marriage Day
8th March World women’s Day
2nd Sunday of May Mother’s Day
24th May Brother’s Day
3rd Sunday of June Father’s Day
13th June World Roommate’s day
1st Sunday of August World Friendship Day
2nd August Sister’s Day
11th August Son & Daughter’s Day
First Sunday after 5th September Grandparents’ Day
19th November World Men’s Day
23rd November World Mother-in-law’s Day
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A Content Heart

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                     ‘ You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough’

– William Blake

No matter who we are, where we are born or what we do, each one of us has a single goal to achieve in life – to attain contentment. If you are satisfied with what you have and feel fortunate about it, you will automatically be happy. Whatever we do in life, everything is directed to that broader goal – to achieve satisfaction and happiness. And the one reason we are way too far from this goal is because our metrics are faulty. We tend to compare ourselves with someone who has achieved greater heights than us, or has greater number of opportunities than us, or greater wealth, health or accolades– in a nutshell, the person is on a higher pedestal than us. Without putting ourselves in their shoes, we tend to judge their life and worse – we compare ourselves with them. We have the natural instinct to feel low and beat ourselves up pondering over things we don’t have while we see others enjoying . This feeling of incompleteness brings remorse and not contentment.

If we continue on the same road, the desire of achieving contentment will be a distant goal. Being ambitious is great. But being ignorant of what you have is a disease which will never let you bask in your own glory.

The first step towards the goal would be to recognize your privileges. If you are reading this right now, you belong to a privilege class – Yes – you have access to internet – you have a computer/laptop/mobile – you have education to comprehend my words – you have mental stability to understand the thought – you have the eyesight to see the picture. Think of people living in this world without these things, and let me assure you – there ARE people living in this world without these things I mentioned – even worse – there are people living in this world without the basic needs and comfort we enjoy in our everyday lives.

So should we not be ambitious and just be content with what we have? No, that is not my idea of a content and happy life. Work hard to achieve what you want in life, fulfill every dream you have. But don’t let you heart sink by comparing your life with somebody else‘s , thinking that you have got less. Even if you want to compare, compare with someone who has much less than you have, and think how bravely he is fighting life’s battle. Probably then, we all would respect what we have in life and be happy and content– at the same time persevering to achieve a little more . This empathy towards the less privileged will keep us grounded and bring the element of satisfaction in our life. That‘s the secret, my friend, for a happy – and more importantly a content life as former is a direct consequence of the latter.

 A content heart is a happy heart.

–  Amateur

A world of Opposites

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. .

– Excerpt from  ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens.

Right from childhood, these lines by notable writer Charles Dickens always intrigued me. I was never able to comprehend what he actually meant.Initially,owing to my immaturity and innocence, I thought he might be confused about his feelings and was not able to judge the situation – after all how can the time be both best and worst simultaneously. There has to be a single perspective.His words are contradictory.The anaphora is puzzling.It is a paradox. What does he really mean?

I must admit that I have not read the novel. I tried but I could not. I don’t deny the fact that it is not one of the great pieces by a notable writer, but my taste in reading was different. I do accept that had I read the novel , I could have got the real idea beneath the words. But as I said, I was quite stubborn with my taste.

Now, when I look at these words, I get a sense of familiarity.As we grow, we learn that good and bad,darkness and lightness, hope and despair, heaven and hell – both co-exist.You will not find one without the other. It creates a kind of balance in this universe. If you have faced good times, you are bound to encounter worst predicaments. If you are filled with hope today, you will feel low tomorrow.If you are happy today, tomorrow you never know what might sadden you. If you are wise today, with time that knowledge will not be enough.These opposites definitely attract each other.

But there is a sanguine side to this whole theory. If you have been a tough time in your life, are you going to suffer your whole life?No. If you are sad today, will there not be a good news waiting for you tomorrow? No. If you are ignorant today, can the world make you stay ignorant if you work and learn hard. An emphatic No. The pearl to be picked up here is both good and bad exist in this world. It is a world of opposites. A roller coaster ride where at one time you are at the zenith, while at the other, you are deep down. But does it stop? No. It keeps going changing highs to lows, lows to highs.

Remember, Change is the only constant. Good and bad both co-exist. Fight the bad, embrace the good.

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Blame Game

As I was going on a nostalgic trip reading stuffs in my old diary – feeling amused at the weird handwriting I had back then, grinning at the was-hilarious-then-but-not-so-much-now jokes,slightly embarrassed by the ‘Hi Diary’ salutation,I came across the following creative piece  which I wrote for my college’s editorial.

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Since childhood, we learn to play many games—both outdoor and indoor. But a game that is played since times immemorial and has become a legacy of the human race is the BLAME GAME. And the most interesting part of this game is that although we do not learn it consciously, we use it- rather play it- very often in our day to day lives.The history of this game dates back to the time when Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sinned in the Garden of Eden. They tried to excuse themselves by placing the blame somewhere else. Since then, it has been in our blood to blame others and shift the responsibility on someone else. A political leader blaming another for the weary state the country is in today, a boss blaming his employees for failure of a project, an actor blaming the script for the failure of a movie-these are common scenarios now-a-days. People are busy finding external reasons for their unhappiness or frustration. We fail to realize that we ourselves are so much a part of this………….Coming to the rules of the game…..

  • This game can be played when there is a situation of – failure, dissatisfaction, and frustration – especially applicable in case of team work. It can be played at all levels- individual, national, and even international…
  • The sole motive of this game is to shift the responsibility to others and to keep oneself free of guilt – whoever does that brilliantly is declared the winner.
  • The player should keep in mind that he is the sole sufferer and is always right….
  • “Destiny” can be used in case the player is not able to put the blame on anyone else.
  • Everything is fair in this game of blaming……

BUT Does it satisfy one’s conscience???

Does it alleviate the situation or help in solving the problem???

IS IT REALLY WORTH ????

My answer and experience says an emphatic no… Its sole contribution is to worsen the already-worsened situation. I do not intend to conclude that highlighting people’s mistakes is wrong. In fact, sometimes it is required and is the right thing to do. But when people do it with the motive of publicly humiliating the “wrong guy” rather than encouraging others to learn from the mistakes, it serves no purpose. Many a times, destiny has to take the blame. It sounds clichéd but true -“We write our own destiny”. I read the story of a saint who used to carry a mirror with himself wherever he went. When asked about its use for a saint, he replied “whenever I face any problem in my life, I look at it. It shows me the cause as well as the solution of the problem….”.That for me was a huge realization. It is rightly said – “Making bad decisions is part of life. Blaming others for your bad decisions is immature.”

We start living our life in its true essence the day we realize that we are solely responsible for its quality. No matter what happens in life, we just cannot sit back and blame someone else for our miseries. If we are not happy, it is because we have not tried to be happy. There is solution for every problem in this world- if not in our hand, then probably in the hands of TIME. But one has to take charge of one’s life. And the day each one of us take up the responsibility of making oneself  happy & content, and one’s life worth living, the world will become a better place.

– Amateur

To Win OR To Win Fairly

Jamaica's Yohan Blake, second left, starts in a men's 100-meter heat during the athletics in the Olympic Stadium at the 2012 Summer Olympics, London, Saturday, Aug. 4, 2012. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

 

Prayer of a Sportsman

Dear Lord, in the battle that goes on through life
I ask but a field that is fair,
A chance that is equal with all in the strife,
A courage to strive and to dare;

And if should win, let it be by the code
With my faith and my honor held high;
And if I should lose, let me stand by the road,
And cheer as the winners go by.

-Berton Braley

Although the above excerpt from Berton’s creation bears the heading ‘ Prayers of a Sportsman’ , but you don’t have to be a sportsman to keep this thought in your heart, for every human being on this planet is a participant of a race – a race to succeed in life, to achieve what one dreams ,a continuous effort to prove oneself superior than others, a race which goes on till our last breath – In that way , we all are sportsmen , aren’t we?

Nowadays, people are so busy with their respective races, that they often forget the rules and the sportsman spirit which is necessary to keep the competition fair and humane. The focus is only on winning, rather than winning fairly. Only the ultimate results matter. But there is one question that needs to be answered. Will the person gazing back at us from the mirror be happy and content with us winning the race at any cost ignoring the fairness of the game? Will he be happy seeing the trophy even if we know that somebody else deserves it more?

In modern day scenario, one can’t help but ponder on Berton’s lines to realize how precisely he has sketched an honorable sportsman’s character– he wants to win but only when he deserves it, else he asks for enough strength so that he is able to forget his own defeat and revel in winner’s celebration. That’s a sportsman’s glory, his triumph and his legacy that will inspire millions after him.

Hence, the choice is simple- to win OR to win fairly. The answer lies nowhere but within us.

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Attitude towards life

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If you can’t be a highway, then just be a trail,

If you can’t be the sun, then just be the star,

It isn’t by the size that you win or fail,

But be the best of whatever you are.

– Douglas Malloch

The above excerpt from Douglas Malloch’s inspirational piece exactly defines the attitude one should have in life. The lines reiterate perfection in its own sense. Whether you are a giant business tycoon or a run-of-the-mill salesman, whether you are a celebrity or a street play actor, a computer genius working in a multinational company or a mechanic, a celebrated artist or a construction worker- the size does’nt matter. What matters is how you play your role to perfection. It is rightly said ,”Do your work so perfectly, that others do not have any work on your work.”

For all the pessimists out there, this does’nt mean that you should settle for something less in life. You should constantly strive to achieve more and more and fulfill every dream you have. But then, be the best dreamer you can be. Dream with conviction. Be the best struggler you can be. Struggle to zenith and don’t stop until you get exactly what you dreamt of. Be the best achiever you can be. Play every role you have in life to the best of your ability.

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