The journey of love…

The journey might be a cakewalk for some, but for others it is a long drawn process of getting to understand each other, respect each other and learn to love each other even in the worst of times, sustaining that love and growing together…..

And it only attains its true purpose in life when it also leads to a path of self discovery and self love…

Why I write….

I am afraid of speaking my heart out in front of people,

Writing gives me a better and non-judgmental platform….

My biggest learning of life till date

I can’t fall in love at first sight

How to deal with misunderstandings in relationships?

 

Misunderstandings happen in every relationship and I am not only referring to the romantic ones. The platonic are blood relations are also plagued by this.

Cause of misunderstanding: not people but their assumptions and beliefs!

Usually people have a set of assumptions & beliefs based on which they react to a certain situation.

For e.g. A son asked his mother for an expensive phone. She refused.

What Mom meant: Getting him a new phone would distract him from his studies especially when his final exams are around the corner. I will buy him a phone after his exams are over.

Mom’s belief: Educations is more important for his future than fulfilling his wish now. My son should concentrate on his upcoming exams.

Mom’s assumption: I should think about my son’s long term benefit and not on providing instant gratification.

BUT

What son thought: My mother does not love me. She loves money.

He is questioning his mother – not her belief, not her assumption. This creates acrimony in relationship until and unless explicit effort is made to remove such misunderstanding.

The reason I am saying that assumptions and beliefs are causes because it is far more constructive to critically analyse an assumption/belief than questioning an individual.

Let me make it easier for you. Which of the following is more hurtful?

Son:  Mom, I don’t like your belief / assumption.

OR

Son: Mom, I don’t like you.

I rest my case.

How can we deal with misunderstanding? – 10 key points

  1. Never jump to conclusions.
  2. Do not react immediately. Take time to understand the underlying belief/assumption to know where the thinking is coming from.
  3. If in doubt, ask frankly. The person will understand.
  4. Take effort.
  5. Do not always expect the other person to take effort. It is your relationship as well.
  6. Talk to the person when he/she has calmed down.
  7. You both are a team – not adversaries. There is no winner in a relationship. It is not a fight.
  8. Understand your assumptions and beliefs as well. Self-awareness is key.
  9. Give space and time to the other person to understand you.
  10. Don’t think you know someone really well. Every person is evolving. There are layers waiting to be unfolded. There is more to that person than meets the eyes.

Have a healthy relationship.

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How Mom, how do you do it?

How does she do it?

What magical powers does she have that she can sense the quiver in my voice, the pain in my eyes , the sadness in my movement…

And why simply talking to her assures me that everything will be alright…

Hopefully someday I will figure it out…

 

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Back with a Bang ! No – a degree actually ;)

Hola Amigos,

My archives show my last post in 2016 ….. Way back !

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After almost a two-year break, I am back as a blogger and this time hopefully for a long time. First of all, my reason for taking a break was my education. I was pursuing a post graduate degree in Human Resource Management which took my 2 years for good. But now that I have graduated and settled, I thought it to be an appropriate time to awaken the blogger in me.

I tried to maintain a balance between my education and blogging, but with time it became too difficult to declutter my mind and write something. Lot of things were happening, and were happening too fast.  Although at times, amidst writing assignments, preparing presentations and solving business cases, I missed the blogger in me.

But the past is gone !! It’s time to focus on here and now…..
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This time I have bigger plans for this blog including quality content from my heart to yours, more musings, learning that I have acquired in last two years and many more.

For starters, this is my new instagram account : Amateur’s Instagram Account

Do follow me !

Cheers to a new beginning !

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Success is Useless

Yeah, you read it right ! 

At least that’s what I believe.

But before putting forward my arguments and letting you decide whether it holds water or not, I would put a disclaimer – making this statement is not sour grapes for me – I have had my share of successes  and failures in life and this statement is not a manifestation of my personal emotions or grudge. It is a conclusion based on careful and deep introspection, and not simply a desultory comment.

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Having said that, now there must be a tinkling in your mind – how can success be useless? After all, our entire life is spent in making efforts to lead a successful life – and hence a happy one. Every soul on this planet craves for success not only in professional life, but also in personal relationships, new ventures, family life etc.  It is on what our life is based – and here comes some random blogger who is questioning the foundation of your life ! Well, success is equally important for that random blogger. She also wants to be a successful blogger, a successful family person and a successful professional.

So how is it useless if it is important?

I never doubted the importance of success – but the utility of it – and there is a difference – a big difference. Because from where I see, I see success only as the food for life and not the food for soul. Success repays your hard work, gives you moments of happiness and revelry, satisfies your ego and enhances you self-respect. 

What lesson does it give you? How does it influence your mind, your nature, your personality – in most cases it either makes you complacent or haughty, or just languid ! In other cases, we become increasingly insecure of losing it. After achieving success in one arena, you move on to the other. I don’t  remember sitting down to retrospect on what I had learnt or what more I could learn in a field, how can I improve and so on whenever I succeeded in anything. I simply moved on to the next level – which is necessary because you got to keep moving ahead,always. But apart from that, what did one truly learn about life?  

Very little, or nada.

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On the other hand, when you fail, you learn what does not work – it gives you knowledge and wisdom. It gives you an opportunity to prove to others and to yourself how strong you are and how quickly you can get back in action after every fall. Whenever someone falls, he has to pick his pieces up and get back up on his own.  Every failure you face in life adds to your courage and inner strength – leaving you more bold than you previously were. It teaches you to be optimistic because believe me – no matter how much pessimism a person has, everybody wants to and does see the light at the end of every dark tunnel. It is just a matter of time – how early one gets over one’s doubts and incertitude. With every failure, that time period decreases – and you tend to get back faster into the game with revived energy and enthusiasm ! Failure teaches you a good sense of humor too–how to laugh the predicament  off and start afresh.

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The problem with failure is that it is always projected in bad light. Right from  childhood, we are taught to embrace success and cast aside failure. And that’s why when I projected success in a bad light – it must have been shocking for many.

Failure is not bad. It is not synonymous with darkness or evil.

In fact, it teaches about life more than success does. Failure is not something to be afraid of ; it does not eat you ; it does not leave you crumpled– but every time it comes, it gives a piece of itself to you – in the form of courage or optimism or sense of humor.

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As Sundar Pichai , CEO, Google rightly said “In Silicon Valley, part of the reason why so many people start companies is because even if you fail, it is a badge of honour.

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Failure does not and should not leave us with depressing thoughts and doubts on our capability. As proudly as we proclaim our success, we should equally embrace our failure. Because when the candle  of  our life will be on the verge of dying down, we will realize while going down the memory lane  that failure was always on our side. We were never fighting it, we were fighting WITH it – to achieve success.

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Do I really need it?

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One fine Saturday evening I was having a nice get together with my friends on WHATSAPP ( read ‘digital get together’ 😀 ) when I received an update alert. I thought:

 “What could be the next big makeover after the whole enigmatic environment touch to the look and feel ?”

I accepted the challenge and the update started.

Later, I saw my Dad’s message with a thumbs up emoji. There was something different about it. So, I took the pain of going through the emoji dictionary to find out if there is any problem with my  screen  resolution or it is just one of Whatsapp’s new shenanigans. I discovered the unexpected.

Where the rest of the smileys were perfectly fine, the human manifestation of the emojis  had sub choices  and to my bewilderment – the choices were of different skin colors. Don’t believe me ? Just update yours and see for yourself if you have not done yet !

That led me back to a brown study. My curiosity led me to a thorough internet research and I realized that Unicode Consortium – the organization which coordinates the development of Unicode Standard (Basically, to set rules for handling  text in digital world ) had set the standard for emojis and Apple implemented  the ‘long awaited racially diverse emojis’ as part of its update. Whatsapp has done the same for its platform.

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The first thought that crossed my mind after becoming aware of the whole situation was –

‘Well, this could foster racism!’  – But this conclusion is subjective and moot – subjected to different people’s mindset and way of acceptance. Some may see it as respect for diversity and some may feel  that it is an insinuation to the racist mindset.  But it is not this aspect which has egged me on to write this piece. What bothers me is the fact that this era – the so- called digital era – is inundated with useless updates and innovations.  Don’t judge me yet. I am not an innovator myself so morally I don’ t have a right to comment,  I am only speaking my mind here which I am entitled to do. I know there have been various inventions and innovations that have helped humanity and nature and my statement is not meant to disrespect those. In fact, especially the digital counterparts have made our lives much easier – we can manage everything from our mobile phone sitting at home and concentrating  better on important work rather than standing in lines outside offices to pay our bills or outside banks to transfer money , or even leaving our flat for shopping. Everything is available at our fingertips, quite literally.

But (and there is always a BUT), are there not a lot of innovations that are not really needed!  So my problem is why we are wasting time developing something that is not crucial to our existence at this moment when we have bigger problems at hand. For example, what difference would it make even if we did not have the ‘racially diverse emojis’. I know I will hardly use them. Additionally it makes the whole process of sending emojis much difficult – for sending a thumbs up , you have to explicitly choose the skin color every time – Giving us a wide range of choices to make decisions whose significance is difficult for me to comprehend. Maybe it gives some people of different races a sense of inclusion and acceptance, but would it solve the bigger problem of racism at hand, which we know exists. I mean if someone is looking for acceptance in manifestations of Whatsapp emojis, there is something seriously wrong with our generation.

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After much brainstorming, I came to the conclusion that the problem I have is two-fold. Firstly, I feel that innovators who have the resource and dexterity to make human lives easier and better and eradicate social evils and environmental issues – should focus more on these goals. I commend various initiatives taken by enterprises and organizations on the social front – like Project Loon by Google to provide internet access to remote areas. There are many parts in the world which do not have electricity, proper water supply or other facilities that we take for granted in our day to day lives.  The innovators should focus more on making each human’ s life easier rather than on catering to just a part of the entire group.

Secondly, people should not get so engrossed and captivated with their digital identity  that they digress from reality. Digital acceptance is less important than individual acceptance – acceptance of our personality and traits by us. Fear for digital acceptance simply portrays an inferiority complex which again leads to the superficial life the people are living nowadays in the digital world. I have already covered it here.

As far as the Whatsapp emojis are concerned, I would like to express my gratitude to Whatsapp for giving me the impetus to write after a long time for my blog – but unfortunately I cannot say that for the diverse emojis that have been added and for the fact that I have to see it every time I will be going for a get-together or a chat ! 😉

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Parents, you are wrong when ………

Parents are the angels we have on Earth who take care of us, when God is too busy maintaining balance and peace in the world. This position of theirs earns respect and gratitude of the child. Believe me when I say that every child feels (and should feel) indebted to his parents, for giving him life and more importantly for making it worth living, at some or all times throughout his existence on Earth. Parents are like the anchor of our boat, keeping us afloat in this gigantic ocean of worldly drifts and waves.be-affectionate

But does that mean they cannot do anything wrong? No, it does not.

Parents are wrong when they lay too much pressure on their child to excel in the ongoing rat race to prove one’s worth in this materialistic world. I am not generalizing here. I know there are many parents who support their child through thick and thin. And if you are one of them, I salute you!

But then, I also know about parents for whom boasting about their child’s success and achievement is so important to maintain their ‘status’ in the society, that in the process of creating a success story, they often lead to tales of broken dreams. They want to produce geniuses. And in this era of cut throat competition, they want their child to go to a reputed college, earn a hefty salary and marry a partner of their choice. Looks extremely well planned, isn’t it ? But I tend to disagree. Between all the meticulous contemplation and planning about a child’s future, where have they taken into account their child’s dreams and aspirations? Parents might put forth an argument that they have seen the world and they are experienced enough to judge what is good for their child and what is bad. I totally agree. 2015-02-12-13-02-59.shattered dreamBut how is crushing of a child’s dreams would do any good to him. I know ‘crushing’ is a harsh word to use in this context but I don’t intend to use euphemism when I want to express my views clearly and without any softening or exaggeration. In certain situations, parents might not even know that they are ‘crushing’ their child’s dream. Ignoring it and asking him to blindly follow the rat in the race cannot absolve them of the fact that they are killing the seed inside him which can give birth to a tree in future. Or even if it is not a tree, even if it is just a sapling – yet a sapling is better than a dead and a wasted seed.428c516b7a78d17d0abc6a7fbd726081

A child is already indebted to his parents. He always wants to give them all the happiness of the world and make them feel proud. But does that mean he has to do everything that his parents’ desire irrespective of what he truly yearns for- ignoring his own dreams? After all, parents want them to be happy, right! What if he is happy doing his own little thing rather than walking the trodden path? Parents want best for their child but what if their perception of best for him isn’t aligned with his happiness? What if he is happy following his risky and uncertain field of interest and not the conventional and certain area of employment?

What if his heart is full when his pockets are not? What if his eyes shine and not his resume?

What if a distant relative or an insensitive neighbor doesn’t approve of your child’s ‘unusual success story’. It will still be a success story for him.

What if your child scores less than what you expected – what if he is not the topper but your neighbor’s kid is ? Should that mean he does not deserve to be your kid or you should pay less attention on him and concentrate more on your younger kid who excels in his education? Should that mean he isn’t a man of good character – worthy of every happiness and love?

You might feel by now that I am too rude or too insensitive and cynical about parent’s emotions and intentions. Or I am a rebellious child myself trying to let off the steam by pouring my frustration out into words. Believe me, I am not. What I am doing here is sharing my experience, not as a victim, but as a witness of the sufferings of an oppressed child who is so low on confidence today because of his/her failure to prove his worth to his/her parents. Let’s call him/her X. X considers himself a loser because he is not able to satisfy his parents’ ever-growing expectations. He has achieved a lot in his life, but not enough to achieve his parent’s satisfaction.

00221917e13e0f4d267d1aDo you approve of this? Should parents burden their child with so many expectations that a child spends his entire life trying to prove his worth?

Why are studies and grades a metric to judge whether a child is a good child or not? Why is a resume a standard to declare a child successful and not his character or nature? Why a child is always marked on his intellectual abilities rather than humane feelings and demeanor?

This culture is so deeply rooted in our society that I fear children losing the courage to confront their parents with their dreams. And therefore, parents need to understand and the younger generation needs to learn.

I am never going to let my child feel what X felt.

I will water the seed inside my little kid’s heart and will watch it grow. Whether it grows into a big, lush tree or a tiny sapling – future will tell – neither do I care because I will be busy looking at the smile on my kid’s face !

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P.S – My idea is not to offend parents in general or doubt their sincere intentions for their kids, neither I am painting parents as dream-killers. I just want to give every parent a chance to reconsider their parenting – to make sure they do not fall into the category of dream-killers.

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Mutual Admiration Sessions

The man who discovered fire meets the man who invented the wheel ('I've always admired your work).

Me: “I am feeling so low today. There is so much competition out there in the world. I feel I am not worth anything.”

Roomie (visibly panicked) : “ What happened ? Are the mid-sems result out? ”

Me : “No! It’s just that I don’t know what I am doing with my life.”

Roomie: “ Why are you in a brown study today ? ” Don’t tell me you have completed the entire Supernatural series and have no more episodes to watch. The ‘Sherlock’ episode has come out. You can watch that.”

Me : “ I am serious. I am 20 now and I am just not satisfied with what I am today. I feel worthless.”

Oh! by the way, I did complete the Supernatural series, and I have put the ‘Sherlock’ episode on download.

That’s not the point. I think I don’t have the qualities to be a successful person in life. How will I fulfill my aspirations when I am not even confident enough about my abilities and strengths? Forget the aspirations, I don’t even feel good as a human being !!”

Roomie (in a saturnine tone) : “Well, I am on the same page with you ! Indeed there are so much expectations and hopes with one’s life that I am scared and afraid of facing the world after college. I want to live a happy and successful life and the fear of failure haunts me everyday.”

Me (histrionically) : “Am I ever going to cheer up ?? Will I ever regain my confidence? Am I good for anything? Oh, how I wish someone could bring me back to life !

Roomie: Don’t lose heart! Ok, Let’s do one thing. Let’s play a game so that we can both cheer up and regain the lost confidence.

Me: What game?

Roomie : You list one strength/ admirable quality that I have , and then I will list yours. We will keep rotating the turns. But no exaggeration and pretense ! You don’t have to flatter me. It should be genuine.

Me: Will that work?

Roomie : I have not tried, but let’s check !

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And man did it work! By the end of a 15 minute-long session, alternatively admiring the other person and hearing words of praise for yourself, the mood was lifted , the missing confidence regained and a lesson was learnt.

The account dates back to my college days and is one of the most vivid moments that I shared with my room-mate. That day, we learnt two things:

  1. Admiration lifts our mood and helps us regain confidence. So that day we promised to each other that if ever, either of us feels low or disheartened or worthless in life, the other would come to the rescue – not only to shower admiration on the gloomy friend and cheer her up, but also to make her see the beauty in the world by making her to praise the former.
  1. A girl understands a fellow girl’s mindset so well! 🙂

From that day, it was a secret we both had kept to ourselves, until this day when I am letting the cat out of the bag. We even gave a name to the game – ‘Mutual Admiration Sessions’.

Well the game was a stroke of serendipity, but can it not be extrapolated to our life ?

During the course of the journey we call life, we often come across predicaments which tend to shatter our confidence in our own being. Our worth becomes a blurred image and we tend to question the correctness of every decision we take, owing to the failures we encountered in the past or harbingers of discouragement we came across. Ideally, our conscience should remind us of the accomplishments we have achieved in the past and the greater heights we are capable of reaching in future – we know it as self-confidence. But at certain times, our conscience ceases to communicate and gets buried under a thick cover of apprehensions and doubt. We need an external agent to lift that cover and show us a picture of what truly we are capable.

The endeavor should not be equated to chest thumping – the intention is not to get blinded by the admiring words showered upon by the ‘mutual admiring partner’. That’s why, it is mutual. You will hear praise for yourself, but you will also have to point out qualities that you admire in your fellow participant. It will negate the probability of getting lost in narcissism. Eventually, when the cover is lifted, your mood will be lifted along with your confidence.

I also believe that some people will find it silly and childish and immature.

When somebody is depressed and low, and has lost all the trust and faith on oneself and one’s capabilities, how can such a stupid game help?

My answer to all those people:

You have been serious all your life. Try being silly for a change !

It might work for you, it might not ! I give no guarantee. But at least it will be worth a try.

Well, it helped me and my roomie ! 🙂

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‘Supernatural’ is more than just a television show!

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For those who don’t know what I am going to talk about – Supernatural is an American horror television series and as the name suggests, it is a story of two brothers hunting supernatural elements and protecting the world which takes them to different places and on arduous trips, exploring their brotherhood on the way.

Don’t Worry ! No Spoilers ahead !

It was Love at first sight
After watching 10 successful seasons and 200+ episodes, I still recollect the fond memories of the day I was introduced to the Winchester boys by my roommate. It was the night before our last mid-semester exam in 2nd year of our college. Well, I guess she wanted to have a nice, little break from the monotony of her study routine; a break I could not afford because of the not-so-monotonous study routine of mine. Oh! Those exam days – I am glad they are over!
Well, she was watching one of the episodes of the 1st season when I happened to peep at her laptop screen (owing to the lack of interest I have in studies – this was inevitable). I saw a man with scary, yellow eyes scaring off a tall, cute boy – I thought, ‘This looks intriguing’. My curiosity heightened and owing to my inability to control it any further, I asked her – ‘What is this you are watching?’ – Quite ignorant of the fact that it would become one of my favorite shows in the coming days. She explained to me the scene and the background story in a nutshell which intrigued me even more, after which she made me have a look at the Winchester boys!
I got lost in Sam’s cute looks and Dean’s mesmerizing eyes.

Love has to be patient
But even today, I give a pat on my back for inhibiting my strong desire to watch the two men fight ghosts in their luxurious Impala. I went back to study consoling myself saying that I would get freedom from the books the next day and then there would be no barrier between us.

The first date
It was magical. Not only the boys, but also the story. It was different. It was appealing. No wonder, I was hooked on to the series for the next three days, completing the entire season.

Our growing relationship
Since the first day I laid my eyes on these two boys, till now – after 10 seasons – I have felt an extreme sense of possessiveness and admiration for them. It is more than just a horror drama to me: I will tell you why :
1. I have stopped getting scared of ghosts, witches, vengeful spirits, vampires- name any supernatural entity- and I have seen Dean and Sam fighting them and coming out victorious with flying colors. So if they can, I can too! ( I have also learnt some tricks) 😛 😀

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2. My vocabulary and knowledge of supernatural elements have increased fourfold. For e.g. – I know about shape shifters , or crossroad demons, hell hounds, spells, devil’s trap, vengeful spirit and many more. ( hehehe !! 😀 )

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3. I have fallen in awe with the portrayal of brotherhood between the two boys – After all, it is all about family, isn’t it? The blood relationship – the only thing which overcomes their difference of thoughts and mindset – They taught me that ‘Nothing in this world is above family’. 🙂

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4. But at the same time, their family is not limited to blood ties. In the family business where you have to trust your partner with your life, Dean and Sam have made loyal friends whose friendship will last a lifetime. ‘Will-die-for-friend Friendship’. :’)

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5. They have shown me that no matter what, the evil needs to be punished – no matter who the evil doer is! Evil can never win- at least when Sam and Dean are around.

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6. They have always been for each other- always got each other’s back in troubled times. It is a treat to watch their brotherly moments. 🙂

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Clearly, my admiration for the show and its characters is not hard to make out. After watching each episode umpteen number of times of the last 10 seasons, I am eagerly waiting to see what the 11th season has in store for the two brothers and their coterie.

In deep love with Sam & Dean Winchester ❤

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Thanks to tumblr for the amazing gifs !

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Is the demon of suicide gender biased ?

A date with an Amateur

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                                           “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Suicide is the aftermath of a long struggle with failure, depression, heart-break or ignominy. It is anti- God – a demon, hell bent to destroy God’s beautiful creation, creeps into a disheartened mind – lures it to kick the bucket, in order to destroy the pain. But does Suicide’s Grim Reaper prefer males to females? Is it gender biased ? Otherwise, what else could explain the greater number of men dying by suicide than women!

In today‘s world of advancements in possibly every facet of life, the responsibility on an individual to prove one’s worth increases tremendously. With the sudden surge of social media over the last decade, the social connections have increased which puts the individual in a constant limelight, as a result of which he/she has a fear of constantly being judged. The individual is not burdened…

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Letter to my Future Kid

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My darling,

How are you keeping kiddo? I hope angels are taking good care of you.

I am reminded of you everyday, sweetheart. Your thoughts flash into my mind when I see kids playing in the park or on the street – the carefree demeanor, the boisterous movements ; not a single worry in the world. I am reminded of you when I see a mother feeding her baby in a restaurant, leaving aside her own food; I am reminded of you when I see kids scared of water, clinging onto their fathers in a swimming pool. But I am also reminded of you when I hear young teenagers committing suicide either because of poor grades or failed relationships. I am also reminded of you when I hear young girls being brutally raped and murdered. There are other dark evils residing in this world, my child, that your little, innocent mind can not even fathom.

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But you don’t have to worry, my darling. I intend not to scare you but to assure you that your mom along with your dad is going to take good care of you. Every evil thing trying to come close to you will find me standing in the way.

I promise.

You are my bundle of joy ,
Does’nt matter a girl or a boy ! 🙂

I would be happy to buy t-shirts for you as much as I will be happy to buy frocks.

You don’t have to worry about your school grades. I don’t care whether you get an ‘A’ or ‘B’. If getting an ‘A’ makes your heart happy, do it. I will not mind! But don’t pressurize yourself. Do what makes you happy, because only then you will do it with your full vigor.

If you are not interested in studies after school and want to pursue any other field, I will never object. My only condition – do your work sincerely and passionately in whichever field you are. Never settle for mediocrity and be true to your passion. I will be more than happy to see you doing what you love.

I don’t want you to be successful and ambitious as much as I want you to be a good human being, kiddo.

As a parent, I might not be able to fulfill each and every demand or wish that you have – some because of my inability and some because of your greater good – but believe me – I will give you everything you need to make your life comfortable and happy. So forgive me if I do not get you a smartphone or an ipad or a play station when you are young – I would like you to play with other kids and socialize outside. It is more important.

If you fall in love, I would never object to your marriage, because of ludicrous reasons like ‘Oh, she/he is of a different caste/religion/nationality’ but I would object if she/he is not a good human being. But I will not be hesitant to accept him/her if you have confidence on your choice. One more thing, marriage does not make you less of our kid and our home – less of your home. Always keep that in mind.

You will always be the apple of my eyes, baby.

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Take me more as your friend than your mom. Do not hesitate if you ever face a problem. Remind me whenever I deviate from my promise. Forgive me if ever I am harsh on you – I just want you to be a happy and a good human being.

I will always love you, honey!

Your future Mom

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Thank you Doctor !!

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Thank you doctor for bringing me into this beautiful world and giving my parents their first bundle of joy!

Thank you Doctor for cheering me up and making me smile while giving me vaccination injections.

Thank you Doctor for offering me chocolates every time I came to your clinic for treatment of minor ailments or for vaccination.

Thank you doctor for treating me when one of my friends accidentally hit me in the eye, although you had to get up from sleep at night.

Thank you for consoling my mother and telling her I was absolutely fine, who was so scared and alone while my dad was away on business tour.

Thank you doctor for bringing my younger brother who has become the apple of my eyes, into this world.

Thank you doctor for treating my mother’s stones.

Thank you doctor for turning up at my house late at night while I was burning hot with fever.

Thank you doctor for inviting me to your yoga sessions and introducing me to meditation, which has left an indelible and soothing effect on my body and mind.

Although I failed to say this to you each time you gratified me with your care, I am saying it to you today.
Innumerable thank yous for the past and equal number of thank yous for the future, because , you, Doctor, are an indispensable part of every human ‘s life. You are the blessed creation of God and an angel in disguise. Although many a times we fail to realize this, but if God created us, you brought us into this world. Yours is the noblest profession of all.

To every Doctor on this planet, on this Doctor’s day (in India), I offer my deepest respect and gratitude.

  Happy Doctor ‘s Day !!

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For all the doctors and patients alike,  here is a must watch video : Patient Doctor Relationship

Dear Sherlock

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To

Mr. Sherlock Holmes
Consulting Detective
221-B Baker Street, London

Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes,

For a girl who has spent her childhood lost in the world created by Sir Doyle, reading about your prowess in criminal investigation, your theory of meticulous and precise deductions, the innocuous arrogance and supremacy towards Scotland Yard, the faithful friendship with confidant Dr. John Watson, the subtle but witty sense of humor and amusement at flattery, the frivolous fights with Mrs. Hudson (the landlady) over shooting the wall to fight boredom, – Sherlock, you are an idol. The youngest of the Holmes family and preceded by elder brother Mycroft Holmes whose intelligence exceeded yours, yet you were the crime solver.

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I cannot thank Sir Arthur Conan Doyle enough for introducing you and your stories to the world. A genius who is so accurate in reasoning and deductions, yet unaware of the fact that earth revolves around the sun – what goes in your mind palace is a mystery to me. Detached from emotions and sentiments you are a cold Consulting Detective, yet your friendship with John is most celebrated; Untouched by love – yet there is an enigma surrounding your admiration for Irene Adler – The Woman who outwitted you ( that makes her even more special ! ) and whose intelligence left an indelible impression on your mind; you are a paradox to me.

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You, along with your doctor friend, – Dr. John Watson for whom I have immense respect, have solved unsolvable mysteries and brought nefarious criminals to book. No matter what it took, you risked your own life and faked your own death to doom your archenemy and criminal mastermind, Professor Moriarty. The world is indebted to you both for you bravery and valor. Oh! Your death! , How deeply it would have pained John! But your miraculous return after three years left both of us reveling. But you never insisted on becoming a hero.

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To you, Sherlock, I would like to confess my deepest love and admiration.

With a heavy heart I say, you are my favorite FICTIONAL character.

 How earnestly I wish you were for real!

– A proud Sherlock fan

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Leave your Expectations behind and let Life Surprise you !

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When has anything happened in your life according to YOUR plan or expectation? Well, in my case, everything in my life has happened in contrast to what I planned for. There is clearly a higher entity at work playing with all our minds.

Now – we, the pawns, are left with two choices – either to cry over every spilt ‘plans’ that has not turned out the way we expected, or to embrace the surprise turn of events with open arms. The latter would be an obvious choice. But it is not always easy for everyone to adjust to circumstances and throw disappointment to the wind. Each one of us has certain expectations from oneself, family, friends, beloved, relationships, career and life at large. We come across many instances where disappointment has been caused by failure of meeting expectations-be it the setting of a career or a failed relationship. Each one of us beams with joy when things turn out the way we want them too. It is an accomplishment. We get disappointed equally soon in contrast situations.

But when you look back, you realize that whatever happened – happened for a greater good.

You see, the higher entity, about whom I mentioned earlier, is not one of the nefarious criminal of a dark movie, who seeks hedonist pleasure in watching his victims suffer. He is our creator and we are not his pawns. For His Sake, We are his children! Have you ever come across a sadist mother playing dirty, manipulative tricks with her child? He has a larger picture in mind – a greater good for you. In his Universe, everything is in place and under control. You just have to sit back and gape in amazement at his wonders.

b39594521e3ab34e7941f572ef7738dfExpectations often mar the vitality & the beauty of any relationship. Two DNAs are different to the core. How can you expect the entire human being to be on the same page with you at every occasion? Difference in thoughts is pretty normal. The fact that he did not react the way you expected him to should not dishearten you. There should be an understanding of differences with all expectations dumped into trash.

To free ourselves from the chains of expectations and surrender to the higher power is not a day’s job. By surrendering, I do not imply that we stop doing anything about anything. By surrendering I mean, you do your best but have no expectations. You give your best to your family. Be the best friend to your coterie. Give your 100% to your work, relationships, life but there is a condition – You should have no expectations. Many people have denounced their social life in a quest for the secret of happiness in this world. I say, the secret is to have no expectations – not from anybody, not from life. Be prepared for the worst turn of events. In that case, you will not be saddened and discouraged when things do not happen as you planned, and when things do happen like you wished – you have a significant reason to rejoice!

Give your best to the world but don’t worry yourself over what will come back to you.

Sooner or later, whatever is destined to be yours will be yours!

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Over Expressive Social Media

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Present generation is a generation of tweets , status updates, Instagram posts, hashtags, selfies, 1000+ virtual friends – a generation of ‘ cyber socialites ‘. If all the listed things appear jargon to you –

  1. You live in a cave , and
  2. You HAVE a life !! (err , as in you have a cave life and not  a cyber social life (pun intended ) –Alas !  you are still a homosapien .You have a lot to evolve – Behold the arrival of the  ‘Cyber Socialites’.  )

The advent of the social media has brought an enormous change in the way people communicate and portray themselves. I am on the same page with the social media enthusiasts when they say this platform is a fantastic opportunity to be in touch with one’s near and dear ones. Not only that, it helps to share and promote humanitarian causes as well. But social media , nowadays , is doing everything , except for fulfilling its primary objective

For example :

1. A status update by a girl: Feeling loved with . ( I am tracking your moods on a regular basis. Noted that down. )

2. A status update by a guy: My friends gave me a surprise birthday party. Feeling blessed. ( I almost cried at this one …!! )

3. A random status update: feeling meh  ( what is that even suppose to mean ?  )

4. Location update by a random classmate :  ***** was at  Indira Gandhi International Airport. ( Okay , so you are in Delhi – 1200 kms away from me. Now I have to change my plans for the day ! Thanks for the update ! )

5. A guy uploaded 200 pictures in a album titled ‘ 2-day trip to Dubai ’  (Are you kidding me ?  Oh ! he missed to upload the pic of the dessert he had in lunch on the 2nd day  – I wanted to see that too.. 😛 )

6. Instagram picture of a girl at Goa beach : #funatGoa#beach#sunshine#family#goodfood#heaven#lifeisgood (My reply : #hardToread#whatyouwrote#usespacepleaese#Idontlikethisformat#gettingaheadache )

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The Best One :

Status Update : Earthquake !!   What should I do ? Feeling scared (You can start with getting yourself to safety first ) – Although I agree that during earthquakes, social media do help to connect people when the telecom networks are down.

Thank God !  twitterverse allows only 140 characters, otherwise our live feed would get a saga every second . but I hear, even they are going to remove this restriction & let people flow their emotions into every tweet.  over-connected-world                 19c9a43b18d7279cd1329b322a8e2840

Cutting to the chase, I believe that nowadays people are getting more superficial on social media – trying to snatch everyone’s attention with their random posts, status updates, location and entire itinerary of their vacations. There is little information and a lot of garbage. I am not against sharing one’s memorable moments, but I don’t think that means his entire routine. If one wants to give his opinion on something or share his pedantic stories, he should start a blog. Interested people will follow.

I do not want to nip the beginners’ enthusiasm in the bud. Try your hand at social media for sure. ( Being an amateur once on social media – I, too, have my share of ludicrous status updates and tweets !) . But do not become an over expressive , superficial cyber socialite. There is still more to a cave man ‘s life than meet the eyes.

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Is celebrating Father’s Day, Mother’s day etc necessary ? I say – Yes ! It is extremely important – Here’s why …

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Of late, people have started questioning the necessity of various ‘days’ that have been given special significance by dedicating it to either family members or friends or lovers. The 2nd Sunday of May is celebrated as Mother’s day in India, while the 3rd Sunday of June is celebrated as Father’s day to commemorate the presence of our creators in our life. On a similar note, we have 1st Sunday of August dedicated to our chums and 14th February for our beloved – the latter being the most famous and most awaited by many – the Valentine’s Day. We have a long list of similar days – for your reference I have added the list at the end so that next time you do not forget – You are welcome ! 🙂

My primary grouse is that some people feel celebrating these days is redundant. They justify their stand by saying that they love their parents/friends/siblings/beloved and respect their contribution in their life – a fact known to everybody, so there is no need for a reminder – emotions count. Some ignore the significance by saying that they shower their love 365 days a year – they do not need a day to prove their love.

Dear people, neither am I doubting your love nor asking you to prove it. I am very sure that you have the greatest of  affection for your dear ones and you love them to the moon and back. The main objective behind celebrating these days is : expression of love.

I know you love your parents or friends or beloved, but how many times have you said it to them? If you do say it, I respect you because you understand that love sometimes need expression. For people like me who are shy & reserved and rarely confess their love, these days serve as a fresh breeze for our relationship ,giving us a much needed opportunity to express what we feel for them, letting us keep our shyness aside because we know we are not alone in this. It obliges us to take a break from our fast paced life, sit back, and make beautiful moments with our dear ones – take them out for dinner or shopping, pamper them, make them feel special. With beautiful moments, I do not mean social media. Of course, you can proclaim you love, but do not restrict it only to that platform. It is a time for you to re-discover your relationship with your parents or siblings – strengthen the bond with your friends, explore and experience emotions you have never felt before with your beloved.

Some readers might think – love is all that matters. Why do I need to say it a zillion times?

I agree. Love is what matters at the end. But to bring freshness into your relationship, you need to express it. You don’t have to do it a zillion times, nobody expects that – but once a year would be a good start. Another point to ponder over is that this should not be a mechanical process – do not do it just for the heck of it. If you do not want to say it on that day, say it on some other day. But say it. People underestimate the importance of expression of love, but –

Sometimes loving is just not enough – you need to express .

You need to break your silence and appreciate the presence of the special person in your life.

Remember, how happy you are when you are appreciated at school or work – it makes your day – isn’t it ? Then make somebody else’s day too…

– Amateur

As promised, here is the list of the important days:

Disclaimer: The following days are celebrated in India. Some days might differ based on geographical location. The author do not claim the authenticity of the dates.

Date Day
1st January Global Family Day
14th February Valentine’s Day
2nd Sunday of February World Marriage Day
8th March World women’s Day
2nd Sunday of May Mother’s Day
24th May Brother’s Day
3rd Sunday of June Father’s Day
13th June World Roommate’s day
1st Sunday of August World Friendship Day
2nd August Sister’s Day
11th August Son & Daughter’s Day
First Sunday after 5th September Grandparents’ Day
19th November World Men’s Day
23rd November World Mother-in-law’s Day

Is the demon of suicide gender biased ?

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                                           “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Suicide is the aftermath of a long struggle with failure, depression, heart-break or ignominy. It is anti- God – a demon, hell bent to destroy God’s beautiful creation, creeps into a disheartened mind – lures it to kick the bucket, in order to destroy the pain. But does Suicide’s Grim Reaper prefer males to females? Is it gender biased ? Otherwise, what else could explain the greater number of men dying by suicide than women!

In today‘s world of advancements in possibly every facet of life, the responsibility on an individual to prove one’s worth increases tremendously. With the sudden surge of social media over the last decade, the social connections have increased which puts the individual in a constant limelight, as a result of which he/she has a fear of constantly being judged. The individual is not burdened by the thought of failing his own expectations, he dread failing others. Suicide, I believe, is more of a social affair than personal because it involves the society and what it thinks of the individual. But both men and women have their share of responsibilities and failures. On one hand, where man is burdened with the responsibility of earning the bread and butter to feed his family and play the role of a son, a husband and a father to perfection, the woman is under the baggage of being a good home maker- which includes the role of a wife, a mother, and many a times – she is the bread earner of the family. But failures at playing these roles hit both of them alike. Heart break shatters both hearts. But facts and figures quote that number of men committing suicide is greater than that by women. From where comes the difference then?

There have been many reasons cited for the difference in numbers. Some research says women tend to use less fatal weapons like drug overdose, while men shows strong intent by opting for weapons like guns or hanging by rope. Some sources quote a paradox, saying that women attempts more suicide, but more men die because of less number of failed attempts in men.

Whatever the reason may be, I could not help but think of the psychological differences in the two sexes. While women are more social and tend to share their predicaments with trusted ones, men are unable to do so because of their reserved nature. They never encourage the idea of taking professional help, thinking they will be able to handle it. I am not saying, dear men, you cannot handle it. But you need to draw a line between depressing thoughts and suicidal thoughts. If ever you feel you are more into the latter, seek professional help because, no matter you never feel the need of it, your family does. Same goes for you, dear ladies, because the aim here is not to decrease the gender bias – it is to completely destroy the demon.

Coming to the end, there is a dire need to decrease the rates of suicides everywhere irrespective of geographical location or gender. Nothing in this world is worth taking your own life for. Seek medical help if you think you need it. Talk through matters with your near and dear ones.

Success and failures, heartbreaks and ignominy are parts of your life – remember; only a PART – they are not your whole life.

Nothing in this world is worth taking your own life for- it might be worth fighting for.

So let’s fight and not die.

– Amateur

A Letter from a Woman to the World

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Dear all and sundry,

I am a single working woman in my 20s, comfortably living in a metro city, earning my livelihood – in a nutshell -‘fortunate’ in many ways. But being a woman, I have faced my share of struggles and humiliation. I have been reminded of my femininity every single day since childhood – when boys in my class passed lewd remarks at my body, when I was being ogled by street hooligans the day I wore my new skirt, the wrinkles of worry on my mother’s forehead when I was late while returning from school, when men don’t look at my face but at the area below my neck – as if it is their new way of paying respect to a lady. They think we don’t pay attention to their eyes – the reality is we know how each and every eye is set on us. We can differentiate the decent from the lecherous.

But I have been fortunate in many ways – my family has given me every encouragement that a child of their family deserves. In fact, I did not know what words like feminism, chauvinism, women empowerment meant until I moved out of the realm of my protective and supportive family – because both my brother and I were equally ‘empowered’ at home – we both received rebukes from mom when we made mistakes; we both got rewarded when we achieved an accomplishment. Both of us got good food, good clothes, good education, independence of thought and a good environment to grow. Neither of us received undeserving favors from either of our parents.

My point in telling all this :

I am neither interested in being a victim nor in preaching feminism here. What I am interested in is telling exactly this to the whole world. I am not a victim. I do not need sympathy. I want equality (Gender Equality is often a misunderstood term these days). Yes, I am reminded of my femininity everyday – but I am not backed down by it. It is not a handicap. I am an independent , strong girl capable of teaching misbehaving men (or even women) a lesson. I don’t want undeserving recognition or retribution from anybody just because I am a female. I want to be treated equal to anybody and everybody –like my brother and I are treated at home. Yes, I want protection from criminal minds of the society , but don’t men also need that ? I don’t want empowerment but equal opportunities – I will empower myself. Putting myself at a pedestal above men is not my intention. All men are not bad. In fact I have met many who are gems of a person. Just because of a few rotten ones, I cannot blot the entire race – like the way not all women are respectable and virtuous- some are nastier than men.

For all the criminal-minds / so – called- feminists / misogynists / chauvinists , here is what I have to say to you :

I will not tolerate any kind of violence inflicted on me – not by men OR women. I will not tolerate assassination of my character by a man OR a woman. I will give as much freedom and respect to my husband as he gives me. Infidelity is not an option – same rules for both of us. I do not want to receive undue advantage from anybody – be it in school , college or office. I want to earn my respect . I will pay half the bill when I go out with my boyfriend. I do not want any man to get up from his seat in a bus or train until and unless I am old, unwell or pregnant (In that case, I will need it !). I will teach my son to respect girls as much as I will teach my daughter to treat boys with same respect. I will teach them to protect themselves from criminal minds in the society – both men and women alike. I will teach them equality in its purest form.

I want to be free from feminism, prejudice or chauvinism.I don’ t want to be objectified or worshiped.  I simply want to be a face of equality .

Yours Sincerely

21st Century Woman

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Hear Me Out – Let’s Beat Cancer

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To

Everyone reading this

16th June , 2015

Let me tell you a story, a story of a  beautiful girl , a bundle of joy to her parents , apple of her brother’s eyes, a dear friend to all, and a academic topper – now a Cancer patient. We all dread the word – she is living it everyday – A girl named Manuja.

She was diagnosed with cancer in 2012. She got cured and we all thought she has come victorious and defeated the most dreaded disease. But her disease relapsed in 2014. Now she is in USA for medication.

She had a dream of completing her education. She has to continue her medication for Gods knows how long ! The expensive  treatment  has drained her family ‘s financial resources.She is trying to complete her education in US while she continues her treatment.

My point in sharing all this with you ? She needs your support.

Your support can be in the form of financial aid to fund her treatment or education, sharing the detail with your friends and family who can provide aid or including her in your prayers or a simple text to her to show that she can fight the battle and come out victorious and we are all there for her. If there is any opportunity for her in US that you know of and which can help her , Please get in touch with me or her.

                Please visit the below link to know her story :

www.gofundme.com/manuja

Let’s help her in defeating CANCER. #ManujaWillWin

– Amateur

A Content Heart

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                     ‘ You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough’

– William Blake

No matter who we are, where we are born or what we do, each one of us has a single goal to achieve in life – to attain contentment. If you are satisfied with what you have and feel fortunate about it, you will automatically be happy. Whatever we do in life, everything is directed to that broader goal – to achieve satisfaction and happiness. And the one reason we are way too far from this goal is because our metrics are faulty. We tend to compare ourselves with someone who has achieved greater heights than us, or has greater number of opportunities than us, or greater wealth, health or accolades– in a nutshell, the person is on a higher pedestal than us. Without putting ourselves in their shoes, we tend to judge their life and worse – we compare ourselves with them. We have the natural instinct to feel low and beat ourselves up pondering over things we don’t have while we see others enjoying . This feeling of incompleteness brings remorse and not contentment.

If we continue on the same road, the desire of achieving contentment will be a distant goal. Being ambitious is great. But being ignorant of what you have is a disease which will never let you bask in your own glory.

The first step towards the goal would be to recognize your privileges. If you are reading this right now, you belong to a privilege class – Yes – you have access to internet – you have a computer/laptop/mobile – you have education to comprehend my words – you have mental stability to understand the thought – you have the eyesight to see the picture. Think of people living in this world without these things, and let me assure you – there ARE people living in this world without these things I mentioned – even worse – there are people living in this world without the basic needs and comfort we enjoy in our everyday lives.

So should we not be ambitious and just be content with what we have? No, that is not my idea of a content and happy life. Work hard to achieve what you want in life, fulfill every dream you have. But don’t let you heart sink by comparing your life with somebody else‘s , thinking that you have got less. Even if you want to compare, compare with someone who has much less than you have, and think how bravely he is fighting life’s battle. Probably then, we all would respect what we have in life and be happy and content– at the same time persevering to achieve a little more . This empathy towards the less privileged will keep us grounded and bring the element of satisfaction in our life. That‘s the secret, my friend, for a happy – and more importantly a content life as former is a direct consequence of the latter.

 A content heart is a happy heart.

–  Amateur

Humor Me

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‘Little Birdie flying in the sky,

I look up and it shits in my eye

I don’t mind, I don’t cry

But I thank god that cows don’t fly !! ‘

                                                                                                     – Anonymous

Did you have this thought when you wiped bird’s shit off your eyes or clothes? If yes, then you are probably the person I am going to eulogize in this piece. Your commendable positive attitude deserves a special mention. But it is not your optimism I am going to talk about. It is your sense of humor – which is lacking in people nowadays – the ability to laugh off your worries, the skill of facing vagaries of life with a smile, or probably a joke! Believe me, you rock!

A few days back, I was watching a famous actress’s interview, in which she revealed that she was a victim of depression during those times when she was at the pinnacle of her career. It was an eye opener. If a person like her having all the materialistic comforts–established career, financial security, fame, accolades and recognition – can lack emotional stability, it speaks volumes of the fact that depression does not take into account a person’s career or money or success before attacking someone, not even age – She is in her 20s. So everyone is vulnerable. However, she won this battle with flying colors. And now she has launched an initiative to help people fighting depression – an inspirational effort indeed.

We need to look at the bigger picture here. I just recounted one incident – there are several poignant stories of broken hearts, failures, abuse – easily falling prey to depression. Suicide is the aftermath when a heart is not able to bear more pain and wants to stop beating. The elixir which can release people from the clutches of depression is a good sense of humor – which is so rare today. By a sense of humor, I don’t hint at people becoming comedians and cracking jokes at every chance they get. In fact, humor has little to do with jokes. Humor enables you to laugh at yourself, releasing the anxiety and stress you have been carrying all around. It allows you to make fun of the troubles you are in, the predicaments you face and the tribulations you have to undergo- find the humor in life. It is the ability to let go and not take life too seriously. I am not a great fan of this author’s writing, but I truly believe what he said “Don’t be serious in life. Be Sincere.” Remember Heath Ledger , the joker in the Batman – saying in his menacing voice – ‘Why So Serious’? Well, in the movie , his intention was different from the point I am trying to make here, but his words are the key – Why so serious?

Life is too short to be taken seriously but too important to be not taken sincerely.

A short disclaimer here – a good sense of humor does not provide solutions to your problem. If you are living your life in this world and not in mountains, you have got to face troubles and YOU have to sought them out. But a good sense of humor will definitely make that journey a pleasurable one, rescuing you from the darkness of depression and giving you the courage to go on and reach the destination- no matter how many obstacles you have to overcome.

Live life sincerely.

Dance, rejoice, laugh, love, play, work – do everything you want to do , but do it sincerely and not seriously.

Find the humor in life and let it take away all your anxiety and stress while your brains find a solution.

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A world of Opposites

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. .

– Excerpt from  ‘A Tale of Two Cities’ by Charles Dickens.

Right from childhood, these lines by notable writer Charles Dickens always intrigued me. I was never able to comprehend what he actually meant.Initially,owing to my immaturity and innocence, I thought he might be confused about his feelings and was not able to judge the situation – after all how can the time be both best and worst simultaneously. There has to be a single perspective.His words are contradictory.The anaphora is puzzling.It is a paradox. What does he really mean?

I must admit that I have not read the novel. I tried but I could not. I don’t deny the fact that it is not one of the great pieces by a notable writer, but my taste in reading was different. I do accept that had I read the novel , I could have got the real idea beneath the words. But as I said, I was quite stubborn with my taste.

Now, when I look at these words, I get a sense of familiarity.As we grow, we learn that good and bad,darkness and lightness, hope and despair, heaven and hell – both co-exist.You will not find one without the other. It creates a kind of balance in this universe. If you have faced good times, you are bound to encounter worst predicaments. If you are filled with hope today, you will feel low tomorrow.If you are happy today, tomorrow you never know what might sadden you. If you are wise today, with time that knowledge will not be enough.These opposites definitely attract each other.

But there is a sanguine side to this whole theory. If you have been a tough time in your life, are you going to suffer your whole life?No. If you are sad today, will there not be a good news waiting for you tomorrow? No. If you are ignorant today, can the world make you stay ignorant if you work and learn hard. An emphatic No. The pearl to be picked up here is both good and bad exist in this world. It is a world of opposites. A roller coaster ride where at one time you are at the zenith, while at the other, you are deep down. But does it stop? No. It keeps going changing highs to lows, lows to highs.

Remember, Change is the only constant. Good and bad both co-exist. Fight the bad, embrace the good.

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Blame Game

As I was going on a nostalgic trip reading stuffs in my old diary – feeling amused at the weird handwriting I had back then, grinning at the was-hilarious-then-but-not-so-much-now jokes,slightly embarrassed by the ‘Hi Diary’ salutation,I came across the following creative piece  which I wrote for my college’s editorial.

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Since childhood, we learn to play many games—both outdoor and indoor. But a game that is played since times immemorial and has become a legacy of the human race is the BLAME GAME. And the most interesting part of this game is that although we do not learn it consciously, we use it- rather play it- very often in our day to day lives.The history of this game dates back to the time when Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, sinned in the Garden of Eden. They tried to excuse themselves by placing the blame somewhere else. Since then, it has been in our blood to blame others and shift the responsibility on someone else. A political leader blaming another for the weary state the country is in today, a boss blaming his employees for failure of a project, an actor blaming the script for the failure of a movie-these are common scenarios now-a-days. People are busy finding external reasons for their unhappiness or frustration. We fail to realize that we ourselves are so much a part of this………….Coming to the rules of the game…..

  • This game can be played when there is a situation of – failure, dissatisfaction, and frustration – especially applicable in case of team work. It can be played at all levels- individual, national, and even international…
  • The sole motive of this game is to shift the responsibility to others and to keep oneself free of guilt – whoever does that brilliantly is declared the winner.
  • The player should keep in mind that he is the sole sufferer and is always right….
  • “Destiny” can be used in case the player is not able to put the blame on anyone else.
  • Everything is fair in this game of blaming……

BUT Does it satisfy one’s conscience???

Does it alleviate the situation or help in solving the problem???

IS IT REALLY WORTH ????

My answer and experience says an emphatic no… Its sole contribution is to worsen the already-worsened situation. I do not intend to conclude that highlighting people’s mistakes is wrong. In fact, sometimes it is required and is the right thing to do. But when people do it with the motive of publicly humiliating the “wrong guy” rather than encouraging others to learn from the mistakes, it serves no purpose. Many a times, destiny has to take the blame. It sounds clichéd but true -“We write our own destiny”. I read the story of a saint who used to carry a mirror with himself wherever he went. When asked about its use for a saint, he replied “whenever I face any problem in my life, I look at it. It shows me the cause as well as the solution of the problem….”.That for me was a huge realization. It is rightly said – “Making bad decisions is part of life. Blaming others for your bad decisions is immature.”

We start living our life in its true essence the day we realize that we are solely responsible for its quality. No matter what happens in life, we just cannot sit back and blame someone else for our miseries. If we are not happy, it is because we have not tried to be happy. There is solution for every problem in this world- if not in our hand, then probably in the hands of TIME. But one has to take charge of one’s life. And the day each one of us take up the responsibility of making oneself  happy & content, and one’s life worth living, the world will become a better place.

– Amateur

To Win OR To Win Fairly

Jamaica's Yohan Blake, second left, starts in a men's 100-meter heat during the athletics in the Olympic Stadium at the 2012 Summer Olympics, London, Saturday, Aug. 4, 2012. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

 

Prayer of a Sportsman

Dear Lord, in the battle that goes on through life
I ask but a field that is fair,
A chance that is equal with all in the strife,
A courage to strive and to dare;

And if should win, let it be by the code
With my faith and my honor held high;
And if I should lose, let me stand by the road,
And cheer as the winners go by.

-Berton Braley

Although the above excerpt from Berton’s creation bears the heading ‘ Prayers of a Sportsman’ , but you don’t have to be a sportsman to keep this thought in your heart, for every human being on this planet is a participant of a race – a race to succeed in life, to achieve what one dreams ,a continuous effort to prove oneself superior than others, a race which goes on till our last breath – In that way , we all are sportsmen , aren’t we?

Nowadays, people are so busy with their respective races, that they often forget the rules and the sportsman spirit which is necessary to keep the competition fair and humane. The focus is only on winning, rather than winning fairly. Only the ultimate results matter. But there is one question that needs to be answered. Will the person gazing back at us from the mirror be happy and content with us winning the race at any cost ignoring the fairness of the game? Will he be happy seeing the trophy even if we know that somebody else deserves it more?

In modern day scenario, one can’t help but ponder on Berton’s lines to realize how precisely he has sketched an honorable sportsman’s character– he wants to win but only when he deserves it, else he asks for enough strength so that he is able to forget his own defeat and revel in winner’s celebration. That’s a sportsman’s glory, his triumph and his legacy that will inspire millions after him.

Hence, the choice is simple- to win OR to win fairly. The answer lies nowhere but within us.

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Attitude towards life

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If you can’t be a highway, then just be a trail,

If you can’t be the sun, then just be the star,

It isn’t by the size that you win or fail,

But be the best of whatever you are.

– Douglas Malloch

The above excerpt from Douglas Malloch’s inspirational piece exactly defines the attitude one should have in life. The lines reiterate perfection in its own sense. Whether you are a giant business tycoon or a run-of-the-mill salesman, whether you are a celebrity or a street play actor, a computer genius working in a multinational company or a mechanic, a celebrated artist or a construction worker- the size does’nt matter. What matters is how you play your role to perfection. It is rightly said ,”Do your work so perfectly, that others do not have any work on your work.”

For all the pessimists out there, this does’nt mean that you should settle for something less in life. You should constantly strive to achieve more and more and fulfill every dream you have. But then, be the best dreamer you can be. Dream with conviction. Be the best struggler you can be. Struggle to zenith and don’t stop until you get exactly what you dreamt of. Be the best achiever you can be. Play every role you have in life to the best of your ability.

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